Sketch? I can't even draw...

After a short break in the wilderness i feel it is time to jot down a few ideas for sketches i have had this past day, a most productive day by all accounts.

Do bear in mind that these sketches do involves characters in costume and with rather distinctive accents, so some of that will be lost across the medium of text.

The first character on the list is Dr. Yes, a mad eccentric old fool, complete with dickybow and hedge-dragged-through-backwards hair. His particular nuance is the ability to answer any question in the universe with "Yeeeessssss.......yeessss i spose it would/spose it is/should say it does etc etc" and look wistfully off into the distance whilst doing so, whilst the interviewer cannot get anymore information of of him whatsoever. He will keep repeating the yeesss though, so as to prevent the sketch from just becoming a "who's line is it next" type of affair, cos i can't stand quiet bits.

Second of all we have the irish kid, who seems to be doing some ill mannered things. Imagine the scene if you can, wooden kitchen table with an old woman (Mrs O'Flannerty) at one end and a 14 year old kid (Dermot) sitting nearby with a catchy woollen number perched atop his head, and a blank look upon his face. All following dialogue must be read in an irish accent to be appreciated, so it should.

"You're a wastleful monkey Dermot my lad, so you are. Never have i met such impudence from a little boy such as yourself. Did your mother not teach you any manners whatsoever?"
"That she did, Mrs O'Flannerty, she did at that"
"Then where are they now? You've had the impudence to wear a hat indoors, burp at the table and blaspheme at the cat when it leapt on your head, I don't call those manners"
"Ah well now, let me just grab me list..."
"List? What list is this?"
"Me list of manner's me mother taught me, i've got it just here in me arse pocket"
"Well lets see it lad, no sense in keeping it locked away"
"Right so, first off on me list of things not to do and bad mannerisms is

1: Never sneeze with your flies open
2: When sitting down to eat, don't dribble on the condiments
3: Never use a teabag for more than one year
4: Don't stare at people, it makes you look thick
5: Don't play with yourself in public, always invite others to play with you

and finally one me brother imparted to me, "Never sneeze, cough, burp and fart at the same time, cos the internal pressure will blow your belly button inside out"

Sketch ends with a rather shocked expression on woman's face.

Now the final sketch i can't really impart to the virtual paper, cos it really doesn't have the same effect without the accent, and i've no idea what accent it is, sort of an 'innit' london accent and slightly gay to boot. Well worth asking me about if you see me around and i can still remember it though.

Anyway, far too late to be thinking about such things, i'm off to bed, and you really should to if you know what's good for you